Emotional abuse is any non-physical form of abusive behavior that an abuser uses to control, isolate, manipulate or frighten you.
The abuse can look much different from relationship to relationship; from blaming and shaming to trivializing and gaslighting. For example, an emotionally abusive relationship that displays overt aggressive behaviors like yelling, threatening and blaming will look very different from a relationship where only very subtle forms of abuse like gaslighting, passive-aggressive put-downs, and minimizing are used. And emotional abuse can be so gradual that you don’t realize what’s happening until you’re deeply entangled in its web. As a result, the abuse can go unchecked as the relationship progresses, building for months, years, even decades, especially if the abuse is more covert. In such instances, the target’s self-esteem is steadily eroded and their self-doubt becomes so paralyzing that they often have only a vague sense that something (though unsure what) is wrong. Over time, this pattern of behavior can have the effect of diminishing another person’s sense of identity, dignity and self worth, which can result in feelings of anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and/or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser manipulates your emotions, words, and experiences and uses them against you. This is meant to cause you to doubt your own judgment and memory, and even your own perception of reality. Signs that you are experiencing gaslighting may include:

• feeling confused (and being called “crazy” by your partner)
• constantly second-guessing yourself
• questioning if you are being “too sensitive”
• starting to lie to avoid the put-downs or reality twists
• having trouble making simple decisions
• frequently making excuses for your partner’s behavior
• constantly apologizing to your partner
• finding yourself withholding information from loved ones
• feeling as though you can’t do anything right
• wondering if you are a “good enough” partner

Depression may appear suddenly out of nowhere, or it may follow a defeat or personal loss. People usually describe feelings of despair, worthlessness, hopelessness, helplessness, pessimism, or guilt. Depression can also have a negative impact on focus, motivation, and other areas of daily life.

Depression manifests itself in a variety of ways, ranging from serious depression to dysthymia and seasonal affective disorder. Bipolar disorder is also characterized by depressive periods.

Depression is a complicated disorder that affects the body in various ways. It can interfere with with appetite, cause insomnia, and produce weight loss or weight gain. It can also affect your immune system and reduce your body’s ability to fight infection and germs. Getting treatment to identify sources of depression and learn coping skills are the first step in your journey out of depression.

Depression is a common disorder and there are treatments available that can work very well. As with many illnesses, the sooner  the depression is identified and treatment begins, the more successful it may be and the more likely recurrence can be avoided.

Appropriate treatment for depression begins with an assessment by your doctor. Certain drugs, as well as certain medical illnesses such as viral infections or thyroid disorders, can create symptoms similar to depression and should be ruled out as the primary cause of your depression. 

Once identified, depression can be treated in a variety of ways. Medication and psychotherapy are the most often used therapies. Many studies suggest that cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, either alone or in conjunction with drug therapy, is quite successful.

Anxiety is a mental and physical feeling of negative expectation. In general, people with generalized anxiety  disorder are more sensitive to negative feedback they may receive. Any worry in any of life’s key domains—health, finances, or work—can be classified as a generalized anxiety disorder, but people plagued by anxiety have elevated alertness and trepidation that can bloom into excruciating worry. This can negatively affect many of the body’s systems—all to facilitate response to an unknown danger, real or imagined.

Anxiety becomes a disorder when worry about possible dangers or negative outcomes  are disproportionate to the situation.  If the feelings last beyond moves to solve any possible problem, or the worry or physical symptoms cause you to avoid situations, you may have anxiety. While a small amount of anxiety can temporarily enhance drive and performance, excessive anxiety disrupts activities and performance, potentially incapacitating people.

The accompanying worrisome thoughts can create a spiral that can make them difficult to control. Ironically, although there are effective treatments for anxiety, people may actually avoid seeking help because they feel embarrassed about their concerns.